4-years, 10-months, 12-days into Samantha’s abduction

Adriana Coronel Tenorio, Adriana Howitt Coronel, Ari Coronel, Ari Coronel Tenorio, Ari Howitt, Ari Howitt Coronel, Jiu Jitsu

Sunday, September 22, 2013: Some days you just need to let it go and cry Sam. Be in the moment and let it go. Trying to suppress it and keep it inside only makes it worse. The last few days I have been struggling with staying focused. I get overrun with how much I miss you and nothing else seems to matter. I step back and look at the big picture, looking at all the crazy things Adriana Coronel Tenorio (AKA Adriana Howitt Coronel, Ari Coronel, Ari Coronel Tenorio, Ari Howitt, Ari Howitt Coronel) has done and continues to do. Match that against all the good times you and I have had under the circumstances. It’s incredibly sad that this is still going on after almost 5-years. I don’t understand how this can still be the case.

On the other hand, I am blessed to see you in my dreams last night not once but twice. You and I were at the airport and I was holding you in my arms. Some guy walked right into us, knowing I had you in my arms. I asked him what gives and he gives me a shove after I put you down. He gives me the “don’t you know how I am” line? Which is usually reserved for desperate, attention seeking famous people. This week in jiu jitsu we have been working on a take-down called the “Collar Drag Sweep”. In the dream, I took this guy down in an instant with this take-down and ended up on top of him. Bad spot to be in with me. Rather than take it further and seeing the obvious embarrassment on his face, I told him that if he knew who I was he would not have been so mouthy; and let this be a lesson to him. As I get up, people who saw what happened were clapping and told me what an asshole the guy was. I asked where you were and they said you were near the entrance of the terminal climbing the structure that looks a lot like a kid’s jungle gym. It was pretty funny. Except you did not know how to get down because you climbed higher than you anticipated. You were about 10-feet above my head. In the interest of saving time because you looked like you were getting tired, and not knowing how long emergency services would take to get to the scene. I told you to jump because Dad would catch you. You did not like the idea very much. I mentioned that I was holding you in my arms since we parked the car. I can handle catching you from 10-feet above me. You said no but offered an alternative. You asked me to climb up to get you so you can hold me around the chest. So, that’s what I did. Before we could climb down, I woke up. It was 4:37 in the morning.

So, I tried to get back asleep as fast as I could to try and recapture you in my dreams. It was hard. I became restless. Then all of a sudden I felt relaxed and then dozed off. The second time I saw you in my dream was in a flash. I was in court with Adriana. She was supposed to bring you with and yet Adriana tried to sell us on you being sick. She’s done that many a times in real life. I look around the lobby of the court building and saw you looking around a corner where the elevators were. Then you were gone. I ran over to where I saw you and there was nobody there. Then my alarm went off. That was it. After getting my morning coffee, I went into my office and sat there. I could not fight back the tears Sam. I am human too. This situation has cost me a lot. This situation has cost you a lot too and I have a feeling you are starting to realize it. I hope this week brings us some good news. I LOVE YOU SAM!!!