Friday, April 10, 2009: Today marks the 5th month since I have seen you. Everyday you are not here is tough. Today was especially tough. I see things or hear things that remind me of you. It’s gut-wrenching. It’s OK for a Dad to tell his beautiful daughter how vulnerable he feels when it comes to your safety and well being. I am humbled that all of that has been taken out of my hands. Under the circumstances, I am doing everything I can to make sure you are safe. The authorities reassured me that everything I am feeling, the frustration and sadness is actually healthy. It shows how much I love you. I don’t know if I will never be able to fill this void that has been left inside of me. I think about May 3, 2006 and how that day changed everything. Everything I thought I knew about the world and how to be a better person, a better man, all of that changed the second you were born. I watched as the doctors delivered you into this crazy world of ours. What an amazing day! You were born 5-weeks early actually yet you were healthy as could be and I was very grateful! Here we are almost 3-years later and I can’t help but think,“what happened?”
Not long ago, I ran into a picture of your birthday last year. I love this picture. The picture is of you in a pink dress and white sandals. I had spent the morning building a playhouse for your birthday and this picture was the first time you had seen it. The look on your face was priceless to me Sam. We covered the opening with SpongeBob wrapping paper because we put your birthday gifts inside. That beaming smile telling us how happy you were…I remember all that like it was yesterday.
All’s I know is that miss you so much! Adriana Coronel Tenorio (AKA Adriana Howitt Coronel, Ari Coronel, Ari Coronel Tenorio, Ari Howitt, Ari Howitt Coronel) has a lot to answer for.
