Saturday, June 26, 2010: Hi Sam! Another Saturday has come and gone. I am amazed at how fast the time goes when I come to visit you. It’s crazy. We are working hard to change this current arrangement. You looked so beautiful Sam. Growing up so fast. I understand you have not been feeling well. That did not stop us from having a good time. It was a creative day today: crayons, sidewalk chalk, markers. Then you staged your own dance production on the patio with the music from your Power Wheels car. The production was well choreographed by you. I even had a part in it. I can’t dance, as you found out. I did not care. Spending time with my Little Princes is all that matters.
Towards the end of the day a gardener came to the door to cut what little grass is at that house. I heard Maria Guadalupe Tenorio Toledano (AKA Lupita Tenorio, Marsha Tenorio) struggling to find change to pay the guy. I felt bad and gave you $20 to give Maria Guadalupe. She happily took the money but never said “thank you”. I thought at least that might possibly buy me some goodwill so we can spend more time together. Nope. I was ushered out the second it was time to leave. I hate seeing the look on your face when I have to leave. It is absolutely heartbreaking. I left with profound sadness and yet very proud to be your Dad. Before the gardener left, you gave him a bag of food for him and his family. I can’t even write this without shedding a tear. I am overwhelmed with both sadness and yet sheer joy that at 4-years old you understand the concept of giving. I am so proud of you Sam!
What a difference 24-hours makes. The border wait today was only 5-minutes! No I would not joke like that, especially after yesterday’s 3-hour border line marathon. Like I said yesterday, you never know with Tijuana. There is no measuring the ebb and flow of the people who cross the border.
So, it’s barely been 48-hours since my truck was stolen. I am writing all this from a bus where a friend is waiting to pick me up. I took a train from the border to San Diego. Interesting people watching on a train. From there I was supposed to take a different train from there to Oceanside. Amtrak was not working on the train tracks somewhere between San Diego to Irvine. So, bus service only today. It’s a nice bus. It’s comfortable and it’s given me the opportunity to write you.
With that, I am reminded of a fortune cookie that came with my Chinese food yesterday. In it said the following “Nothing will stop you from your goals”. I would have given my left arm to see you today Sam. Taking the train and bus while I shop for a new car is no big deal. As a matter of fact it gave me some much needed perspective on life. I have been dealing with this situation non-stop for the last couple years. The recession certainly did not help. So I just kept my head down and like a rhino would plow through these constant obstacles. Taking a train or bus gives you time to reflect and see what is going on in the world. There is no doubt we are trying to fix a very difficult situation Sam. Even with all that is going on with us, I would not trade places with anyone. Not even for a second. Why would I when I have you as my daughter!
All I have are these words and this forum to express how I feel because I can only see you for a limited time each week for now. I love you more than anything in this world Sam. I am doing everything I can to figure all this out. KISSES MY PRINCESS! I LOVE YOU!